I have a child and she’s the center of my life. However, there are many women out there who don’t want children today and feel like they’re being pressured to do so. Yesterday, I was talking to a friend who’s in her early thirties, a doctor and perfectly happy being married to a great guy. While she loves children, she doesn’t feel that she’s missing anything by not being a mom and it’s not a goal she has in mind. The problem is that any older person who meets her and finds out that she’s not a mother says something like ‘It’s ok. Don’t be upset.’ At first, my friend thought that they were saying it’s a shame that you don’t have kids, but it’s not a big deal. She now understands that these people think that she’s unable to have kids and feel sorry for her.
What’s this pressure that we’re putting on women choosing not to have kids? No one knows what’s really going on in anyone else’s life and no one has the right to judge anyone else’s choices. Women today have a lot of responsibilities. We work full time, we’re expected to take care of the home and cook and clean after work and we’re expected to look like we’ve just walked out of a salon while doing all of this. All this being said women who don’t want kids do not want to be constantly nudged to have them. These women feel that there are other things that they want in life and should be applauded for their decision. After all they are choosing to be responsible for their actions rather than having kids that are unwanted and not being a good parent.
As for me, I never wanted to have kids. I had a mile long list of things that I wanted to do instead. One day that changed for me and I now have the greatest daughter in the world. I won’t however, use my experience to nag someone to have a child though because while motherhood is a wonderful experience, it’s not for everyone and I have to respect the decisions made by women choosing not to have children.