When the doctor first gave me my daughter to hold, my first thought was “What am I supposed to do now?” I had helped raise two younger siblings so I knew about bottles and diapers, but I was in no way ready to take care of a baby. While I had tons of people going on and on about breastfeeding tips and giving me parenting advice based on how they raised their children, I found it hard and unsettling more often than not. Most of all, I was completely thrown off by how life after having a baby turned out to be a very sobering and selfless experience.
Before the baby arrives, I was able to go anywhere I wanted, whenever you want. I could have showered three times a day, go out with friends and get back late, sleep late, go to the bathroom in peace, and wear white. After the baby, I was sleep deprived and my schedule was wrapped around nap and feeding times. Even though I loved my daughter, I felt that my parenting skills were lacking and that I had had lost my life. It wasn’t postpartum, it was me saying goodbye to my time alone and the side of myself that was allowed to be selfish.
It’s important for a new mommy to get some parenting advice that not only gives recommendations about how to how to take care of a baby, but also gives some advice for new mothers on how they can cope and take care of themselves. This way, a new mom won’t feel like she’s drowning and can spend more time enjoying her family. So, here are my tips for moms for dealing with life after baby.
- Many couple have an argument, where the husband complains that the wife doesn’t take care of herself, him or the house the way she used to. The man misses his beautifully made up wife, and she feels that that he’s ungrateful and doesn’t understand the time and effort that goes into being a new mom. Don’t worry, this period will end. He’ll become more patient and you’ll find ways to make time for yourself.
- If you like to shower first thing in the morning, do it when your husband is getting ready to go to work. If you’re a modern mom who works as well, take turns in the shower so that while one of you is getting ready, the other can feed and change the baby. If you’re on your own, put the baby in a bouncy seat and take him/ her into the bathroom with you so you can keep an eye on him/ her.
- Sleep!! Whenever you can, get some sleep because it will keep you sane and energized. The best time is when the baby is sleeping. If you’re like me and you can’t sleep during the day, go to bed earlier. Actually this one wasn’t so hard for me because by 8:00 I was ready to crash.
- No matter what, make time for yourself. Get a network of people together such as you mom, mother-in-law, baby sitter, neighbor and friends that can help to watch the baby while you go to the gym, get a haircut or do whatever you do to relax. This not only helps to give you some alone time, but it gives you time to do the things that you enjoy and make you who you are as an individual and not as a mommy.
- Dress up the way you did before you had the baby. Wearing a nice outfit and doing your makeup will make you feel fresh and revived while wearing the same old jeans and t-shirt every day will make you feel like you’re holding down the fort at all times.
- Have a date night with your man once a week. Your married life after a baby will get hit because everything will be about the baby. She had her first tooth, took a step, said mama. You have to make some time for your marriage and hold it together so that it remains strong and lasts.
- Don’t forget your friends. Call them, skype them, email them and most of all SEE them. Have them over for coffee and some laughs, go out for walks, whatever as long as you don’t lose touch. This sounds easy, but when you have a colicky baby crying all the time, it can be tough. The point is to have someone around that makes you laugh, shares in your joys and keeps you going.
- It’s ok to let the baby cry. My daughter used to wake me up every hour and I used to jump out of bed in order to make sure that she didn’t cry too much. This resulted in me stubbing my toe every now and then and trained my daughter to feel that if she cried at any time, I would be there in seconds. As she got older and should have been sleeping through the night, we were all still waking up because I never let her cry. Please don’t follow in my footsteps or you’ll be using a lot of under eye concealer just like me.
- Go online and check out some new mom blogs. They give some great advice and you find out about which techniques work and why for raising your baby and taking care of yourself.
Having a baby is a blessing. Once I learned how to make time for myself, it was possible for me to relax and to appreciate the love and joy that my little girl had brought into my life. I hope that these tips for new moms will help you out the way they did me.
Is there any advice that you wish you got when you became a new mom?
Give me some child discipline advice.