Having A Relationship With An Older Man

23 Feb

I had struck up a conversation with a woman at a friend’s house last week about a bracelet she was wearing, but the conversation took a turn when she started to discuss her marriage to an older man. I have to admit that I was taken aback by the fact that her husband was 20 years older than her. When I think of marrying an older man, the idea just doesn’t appeal to me. Especially if I was just born at a time when he was almost done with college. Although he may be charming and successful, an older man has already lived through and experienced so much more than the young woman that he’s with. On the other hand, there are lots of women who date older men today so I tried to understand Bianca’s reason for marrying an older guy.

According to Bianca, marrying an older man is the best thing she ever did. When you’re in a relationship with an older man he not only respects you more, but he listens to you and goes out of his way to make you happy. He puts your needs before his own and shows affection openly. When you’re in a relationship with an older guy, he takes you to nice dinners and buys you nice (not to mention expensive) things. In Bianca’s case, her relationship started because she was beautiful and he was financially well off. Somehow, love came into the picture later on and they got married.

On the other hand, there are things that should be done by a young woman who is in a relationship with an older man. She must take care of herself and look good at all times.  She should be very supportive of her man, shower him with compliments and above all make him feel young and energetic.

While Bianca had some great points, I still wasn’t sold on the idea of marrying an older man. More and more today you see young women dating older men so I know that she’s right in her argument. After all, what women doesn’t want to be showered with gifts and attention? But what of the future?  When you first marry an older man, everything may seem normal, but will you stay around when he’s 80 and you’re 60 and he has a hard time keeping up? Will he want to keep you around when you’re 40 or leave you so that he can start dating younger women? In other words, will your relationship be affected by age?

At the end of the day, I think that I would be a little weary of my daughter started to date an older guy. If they love each other that’s one thing, but if it’s for the money, I wouldn’t be happy about it.  I would prefer she marry someone that’s closer to her own age that she can learn with, grow with and live to be old and grey with.

How do you feel about marrying a much older man?


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2 Responses to “Having A Relationship With An Older Man”

  1. Vanessa April 19, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

    I have to say that your article is somewhat superficial in the way it depicts the younger women in these relationships, as though they are in it simply for the attention and the money. My partner/lover is 16 years older than me, and I can assure you, I’m not with him because he’s filthy rich or because he hangs on my every word. I’m with him, and was initially attracted to him, because of his self-confidence, intelligence and the fact that he was so comfortable with himself…..which translated into acceptance of me. I met him when I was 38 and he was 54. There was an instant connection, both physically and mentally, which grew into a wonderful, caring, loving and mutual relationship. It had, nor does it have, anything to do with an age number, but rather, the fact that he’s wonderful, loving, caring and accepting. Any woman would be lucky to have him, and I am grateful every day that he’s in my life.

    • spontaneouschick April 25, 2011 at 1:32 pm #

      Sorry for the late reply. I was away. This post was based on a conversation that I had with one woman which is why I kept saying “she said”. Of course every relationship is different and age may affect everyone differently. I once went out with a guy who was 13 years older than me and acted like he was 13 years younger and so I stopped seeing him after a while. In the case of this post, the woman was simply telling me her way of seeing things.